Valentine’s Day

No I’m not anti-valentine. I’m simply anti tackiness. It’s okay, except it makes it harder to be with a hopeless romantic like Matthew. I broke his heart last year because I didn’t bother sending him a card for the occasion even though he sent one to me a week earlier and expected me to return the favor although he knew that I don’t participate in Hallmark holidays. See the difficulty?

To make matter worse, I was scheduled to work overtime to entertain a certain journalist of his favourite UK newspaper no less. As a joke, I put it up on Facebook that “my Valentine” was that Mr. Senior Editor. Apparently, it wasn’t very funny for my Editor-in-chief boyfriend.

This year, I made it clear to Matthew once again: I don’t do Valentine’s. He still insisted for whatever reason to treat me with a present. As a CFO of the house I ruthlessly DENIED him the budget, Suze Orman style!

As the day approaching, he was still itching about getting me something and I was then worried that if I don’t reciprocate, I’d break his heart again. Bad girlfriend!

Inspired by one of our favourite shows, 30Rock, I told Matthew: okay, we can give each other something but only if it’s a zero-dollar gift.

I secretly signed up to donate flower arrangement for the church. For that, I got a space in a church bulletin for the Sunday my flowers are displayed. I chose to do it for Sunday the 12th and used the space as a tribute to romance.

Let's celebrate love!

To try and impress me with his zero-dollar gift, he had an idea for one of my idols, Kimora Lee Simmons, to tweet me something. How did I know this plan? I actually read his tweet to @OfficialKimora asking her to mention me. I didn’t want to ruin his surprise so I didn’t say anything.

The morning of Feb 14, he kissed me and said, “A surprise is coming!” I couldn’t help but say, “I read your tweet.” He was baffled. “How can you read it? I thought if I only sent it to someone, other people can’t read it!”

One, he should have sent her a direct message. Two, KLS didn’t tweet to me at all. Three, I doubt that she could even read Matt’s tweet because his tweets are protected.

He did get me a cute card that he left on my bedside table, the one I just tidied up the day before as a response to his complaint. Oh, the joy of cohabitation.

Text inside: For my sweetest, dearest honey. (Call yourself an editor! Can't event come up with something original.)

I spent the day running errands, getting one painful slimming massage, and shoe shopping with a friend. When I got home at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon, I was torn: should I continue my overdue editing work or should I start cooking a special two-course dinner for Matthew? (Aside: Special here means healthy, as opposed to cups of instant noodles we used to consume unapologetically.)

I was just starting up my computer when I got his text, “I’ll be home at 5.” I thought, now THAT’s the best zero-dollar gift I could have hoped for. I turned my computer to sleep and started peeling the carrots.

Vegetables on their way into my soup!

We had soup, followed by stir-fried beef over very small portion of rice. We drank tea (naturally, it was 5pm) and bitched about the world. Romantic*.

*) Just for the record I’m not being sarcastic.

One thought on “Valentine’s Day

  1. And Alec Baldwin AND a coded message to Tina Fey, built out of her Star Wars/Princess Leia references on the show. “Help me, Tina Fey, you’re my only hope!” I wrote: a misquoted line from the first (i.e. fourth) Star Wars movie in which a holographic Leia, with the braided locks and white gown Tina Fey wears in her 30 Rock fantasy, implores Obi Wan Kenobi to save the universe.

    Fey didn’t see it due to my confusion over how Twitter works. Or she did and ignored it, as did (for the record) John Cleese, Suze Orman, Charlie Sheen, Kim Kardashian and Piers Morgan. Slackers each and every one, it seems, and I will record their TV shows on TIVO (or would if I had it) and then record over them with tedious ads — just for the sake of it — and then WATCH THE ADS AND ENJOY THEM!

    But the end result was a winner (Charlie Sheen, take note). We had a low-expectation, high-return Valentine’s Day and the church flowers that Rebecca arranged were a lovely surprise on Sunday; in turn through my slapstick efforts to do something special, I made her happy and made her laugh, and that’s the main thing and my main priority in life. We had a loving and tender time all in all; I finished work early after seeing Rebecca in the day, and we watched Sex and the City together that night.

    I couldn’t ask for more.


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